the pussy queen

yanique bell

Tantric Meditation to Release Ex-Lovers – 016

January 28, 2020


Ex-lovers can sometimes feel like gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe. Except a lot worse. No matter how much you scrape it off and try to disentangle. No matter how many cords you cut and energetic releases you undergo… you take a step forward and you can still feel that stickiness. Your foot sticks to the floor just ever so slightly and you wonder if you’ll ever be able to walk into a new relationship without all this gunk on the bottom of your shoe. Well, Goddess, you’re in luck. I’ve prepared a meditation to help you to get over your ex, once and for all.

OK. TBH you might have to do this more than once.

Ok, so yes, this is a powerful meditation. In the podcast, I share exactly why we breathe the way we do and how to move through the breathwork and allow your body to offer up whatever it’s willing to release at this time. But, honestly, ever since I recorded this on Friday, the intention I set to get over my ex-lovers has just taken on a life of it’s own.

On Friday, I felt victorious. I could feel the golden energy of the Goddess pulsating through me. Doing this practice, just once, helped me to clear my most recent attachments. But today? Today is a different story.

How to Get Over Your Ex, Step by Step

This morning, I did a breathwork practice to drop into my heart and felt a tightness the size of a peach pit in my heart. I stayed present with what I identified as a constricting fear. It eventually revealed to me that all it wanted was to be loved. And it dawned on me that my desire wasn’t for any specific person (any specific guy from my past), but just love, period.

Then, since the afternoon, I’ve been moving through waves of grief and sadness over a breakup I experienced in the Fall. I’ve been allowing memories that I’ve repressed to finally come to the surface and move through my body. I’ve just come from a run where I broke into tears at the top of my favorite hill. As I made my way home, I began to talk to God.

I’ve been trying to make my desire for an intimate relationship insignificant, like I’ve done most my life. I’ve been trying to be that independent woman who loves herself and doesn’t need a man. And it’s true. I don’t need a man. I don’t need a lover. I just want one.

I wasn’t able to say this to Spirit immediately. Instead, I just started talking about my other desires. I started talking about my desire to travel and to learn how to surf. My desire to finish my novels and be a published author. And then I started to talk about you and how I can connect with you better. What I could create to help you get your core desire. As I tried to figure out what exactly it was that you desired, I realized you and I weren’t so different. We both want to be madly in love. To experience spiritual sex with our dream lover. We want to surrender and feel safe to fall deeply in love with someone who is ready to receive all of who we are….

And then I started thinking about my ex again…

And ALL my ex-es. My ex-blog. My ex-dream. My ex- purpose. How did I let these exes go? I created something better.

I leaned into a new and better dream. I created a better blog that better expressed who I was. But, then my mind piped in and said, “But you can’t create your dream man.” And I laughed because yes I can. Yes YOU can. Creating your dream man is the same as creating your dream life. You believe that it already exists. It’s already possible. And then you energetically align with it and open up to receiving it.

How to Use this Meditation

I feel lighter. I feel stronger. I feel that things have shifted.

But I’ll be honest, I don’t know that I’m at the end of my release or if there is any conclusive end. In the past, I’ve gotten over ex-lovers by waiting it out until another shiny object came my way, ready for my affection. This more intentional release is not about playing the waiting game, but being in control of your life…. while still knowing that you have no ultimate control over the timeline! It’s trippy. It’s twisty. It’s a damn beautiful process.

What I do know is that intentions are powerful. Just as my intention to release my ex has taken on a life of its own, I’m sure my new intention to receive this dream man will as well.

So, stick with it.

Allow your body to show you the path to healing.

Maybe, just one listen will do the trick for you. Or, maybe like me, your body will offer up pieces to be healed and integrated, bit by bit.

Trust the wait and trust your body.

Inside the Episode

  • A breathwork practice to open up your pelvic floor & sexuality
  • What to do when you encounter numbness or resistance during your practice
  • A practice to call back pieces of you that are still attached to ex-lovers
  • How to open up to the love you are truly worthy of

Links Mentioned

[If you’re listening on a podcast player – see the full blog post to access all the links]

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It takes a village of goddesses to raise a Queen. If you’re like me, pleasure doesn’t come naturally. Choosing pleasure is, well, a choice! If you want daily reminders to keep saying YES to your pleasure & your pussy, follow me on Instagram at @yanique_bell. Remember to tag me in your screenshot of this week’s episode with the hashtag #womangonewild, so I can share your screenshot on my story too!

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The Secret to Better Sex – 013

Queen Training #1 – The Non-Negotiable – 014

Being in Service to Your Wild – 015

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