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yanique bell

Don’t Know What You REALLY Want? Make an Envy List for Clarity

April 14, 2019


woman laughing with champagne, how to figure out what you really want

You can’t rush clarity, but there are ways to get it sooner. This week in the Mastering Lower Emotions series, we’re looking at jealousy and envy with new eyes. In this week’s featured post, I shared how you can uncover hidden desires using jealousy and envy. We’ll be utilizing that reframe in this week’s challenge. This is how to figure out what you really want (and not what you “should” want):

how to figure out what you really want

Make an Envy List

An Envy List is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a list of the people you feel envy for and what it is they have that you want.

So, grab your journal or a piece of paper and make a T-chart. On one side, write “People/Triggers that Make Me Jealous” and, on the other side, write “Why/What They Have That I Want.”

To identify those people or experiences that trigger jealousy or envy, refer back to your body journal. Were there moments last week when you experienced these emotions? If so, check your “Body Environment” for possible triggers.

Next, before you fill out that “why” column, be sure to center yourself. Ask Spirit to guide you and really connect with your higher Self here. The reasons why those people make you jealous may actually surprise you. This “why” column is where you’ll find your true desires and what you’re really longing for.

Stay conscious:

As you add to your “why” column be mindful of what you’re already aware of. If you know that you have a tendency to be triggered by, say, athletic people, because your parents pushed sports when you were a kid, even though you didn’t enjoy it, recognize that what you may really desire is your parent’s approval and not to be an athlete. And, of course, the approval you’re really seeking here is your own.

So, before you pursue those desires in your “why” column, check in with yourself to make sure they also align with your own self-awareness and definitions of success. Ask: will this contribute to me and create the life I desire? Or, is this based on someone else’s desires and definitions to success. While still choosing for you, be open to unexpected desires popping up and things you’ve previously resisted.

What to Look For When Completing Your List

While it’s great to identify those things you want that other’s posses, like a chic bohemian wardrobe or a new car, go deeper than the objects and experiences themselves. What’s that feeling that you’re seeking? How do you think that trip to Hawaii or money in your bank account is going to make you feel?

In the Mastering Lower Emotions series, my goal is to gift you access to emotional freedom and that means being free to feel the way you want to feel RIGHT NOW. So, when you identify what it is you want to feel, start looking for ways you can initiate and experience those feelings in your life today. It’s no coincidence that this is also a huge step in the manifestation process, so don’t skip it! It’ll help attract those desires to you even sooner!

This week’s intention: I honor my jealousy. I honor my envy. I allow these feelings to reveal to me more of what I desire and I take action to create my desires. I am open and ready to receive.

Now that you know how to figure out what you really want, share your desires in the comments below!

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